Little People...Big Boobs? ..lol

To those of you with cute kiddos...or those of you that are around kiddos..you probably know that sometimes kids can say the darnedest things! Especially when they see someone who looks significantly different than them or the people they know. Now, I can't speak for all the LPs (Little People) in the world, but I wanted to let you know my point of view on the subject in case it helps any of you parents out there that experience these situations deal with it a little easier.

The example I'm using today is my most recent encounter with a cute kiddo (about 6 or 7yrs old) who I met while shopping for House Slippers. Of course I have to shop in the Kiddie Dpt for shoes and sometimes it can be hard to find shoes without Barbie, The Little Mermaid, or "insert any Disney Cartoon here" on them. So while looking for a more "adult" styled shoe, this cute kiddo and his father walked by. Just like every kiddo that sees me or someone like me (maybe for the first time..or maybe not) he stared at me, and I could tell his little mind was trying to figure out just what kind of person I am. His first instinct was to ask his father about the "little girl"...but the father promptly shushed him before he could inquire further. However, the little boy persisted. He had his hands on a shopping cart along with his father and when he tried to ask again, the Father began to squeeze his little hands in an effort to distract him from saying anything more. But the cute kiddo couldn't help himself so he finally shouted, "BUT DADDY..That little girl has REALLY BIG BOOBS!". The father's face turned very red and he immediately turned to me to apologize. I smiled and told him it was okay and that I understand Kids ask or say things when they are curious. He seemed relieved and thankful and proceeded to walk very quickly away with his kiddo.

I don't get that particular reaction often, but yes, I have heard about my big boobs before from Kiddos and I understand that if your curious kiddo is going to blurt out a loud inappropriate public comment, that ideally you would want him/her to blurt out something at least a little more appropriate...but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way! In my case, kids know I'm not like them and it's primarily b/c I'm small but I have more adult-like features (yes like "boobs") and all they are trying to do is determine why. I want you to know that I personally do not consider this "rude behavior" from small children, as often I am their first encounter with someone "different".  I do NOT mind at all when kids ask me questions. I believe asking questions is the only way the child will learn about their encounter, so if you encourage your child NOT to ask questions then they will never learn, and therefore when put in that situation again, they will continue to stare and wonder. By telling your kiddos not to talk ABOUT me, look at me, or talk TO me, it can unintentionally send the message to them that I am in some way "not normal" or I'm someone to be "disapproved of" and that people like me are not to be mentioned or associated with. However, I would LOVE for them to learn that I am a person just like them, and I understand that sometimes they are learning about it in that very same moment they are meeting me..When kids ask me why I'm small I usually give them a simple answer "God makes people or  "People come" in ALL different shapes and sizes..isn't that cool?!" They usually respond well to this and sometimes they even say things like, "Oh, I have blonde hair and my sister doesn't" and give other answers that point out their differences. They may also question me further and that's okie too :) Here are just some of the really cute ones I've heard:

1. Are you a Mommy?
2. Are you old enough to cook? ..drive? ..be married? ..have kids? ..stay up late? ..etc?
3. *pointing to my Husband who is 6ft1* So he's your Husband and NOT your father?
4. How come your boobs are big?
5. Are you a "baby mommy"? (not to be confused with "Baby's Momma")
6. Will your dad (My Husband) let you come play with me?
7. Are you a kid like me?
8. Are you tall enough to have a job?
9. Are you a "real" person? (...hmm..as opposed to what?)
10.  Are you SURE you're old enough to be babysitting me?! :P

One thing parents do that REALLY makes me feel terrible is when they physically swat, push, pull, or jerk their child away from the situation.. "me" being the situation. I feel I'm the reason for the child being disciplined, and it actually makes me feel a bit guilty! Even though I understand that it is the parent's choice to either educate that child in the moment, or remove them from it to "hopefully" educate them later, something inside me still feels it's in some way my fault that the child is being reprimanded. This is one reason why I am always open to kids with questions or parents who wish to educate their kiddo about people who are "different". I have confronted parents as they were in process of disciplining their child right in front of me and apologizing to me at the same time, and I've let them know that I am fine with questions. Most are grateful for this and take the opportunity. Some parents respond by saying their child is old enough to understand that pointing and staring is wrong and they wish to teach them both lessons...which I also understand. I believe that pointing and such other behaviors will diminish as the child learns more about why I am different! However, I do NOT believe taking them away from, ignoring, or making me a taboo topic will teach a child anything more than to avoid the topic all together.

Older kiddos, and adults that exhibit this same behavior towards people who are different are a much different story, and a topic for another day. For now, I hope that knowing my perspective on this will help you, as parents, to feel more comfortable around people like me who are "different" in some obvious way in a situation like this. As I said before, I do not speak for all the LPs of the world, but if you find yourself in this situation with an adult LP, you can probably bet that they understand that kids are kids...and will be more relieved to have you inquire than to see you forcefully remove your child without explanation. (especially if your child is very up front, already talking to me, or being very vocal about it) Look, I KNOW I'm short, I didn't just wake up like this yesterday..and odds are the person you'll encounter (especially an Adult) will know what's different about them as well and have encountered many similar situations like yours.  If you're unsure if inquiring about their height is okie..just ask them, more than likely they'll be very upfront with you on what they consider acceptable or not and they will appreciate the respect you've shown them by simply asking!

My New Hello Kitty House Slippers! <3

There are so many people in this world and we all have many unique differences. I hope we can teach our future generations to accept and embrace them! You cannot put together a puzzle if every piece is shaped exactly the same...It is ONLY because of our differences, that we can come together, see different perspectives, and bring new ideas, beneficial changes, and love to a world that is so in need of it! <3

Love Always,
              Sommer
                      <3 BBB <3

Little People...Little World?

                                     Little People...Little World? 

All things Short  & Tall..
you  grow to love them one and ALL :)

**Thank you all for expressing your interest in this topic! This is for all of you!**

I'm aware that some of you out there watch the TV show "Little People Big World", not only b/c you tell me, but also b/c I have random people come up to me all the time asking me if I'm on the show...or if they can have my autograph or take my picture b/c that show has somehow effected their life. Personally, I don't usually watch the show or comment on it but I do think it's an interesting show & a very good reference for educating people on the lives of some of the Little People in today's world. However, I'm a Little Person everyday of the week, so I guess I'm just not as drawn to it as much as some people are :P So, I understand that recently a young LP man on the show, who never thought he'd want to date a "Tall" person, is now dating a tall girl. :) Since he has feelings for her, he says he's beginning to change his mind about not dating "Tall" people. I'm not aware of why he decided that he didn't want to date tall or average-sized girls in the first place..but I thought maybe I would tell you about my personal experience with this situation as it happens to be a topic close to my heart.

Some time ago, I decided to try to get involved with my local Chapter of the Little People of America (LPA) Association. I read about it online & I also started chatting with members to find out more of what it was all about & general things like that. First, I want to emphasize very strongly that my experience was not limited to one specific Chapter or location..nor did every LP I talk to come across to me in the way I'm about to describe. So I ask that you please do not assume any one location or one group of people are involved in my experience. However, there was definitely a common trend that I encountered 50% of the time that begin to disturb me...I noticed that the people I contacted would suddenly stop talking to me after I gave them my marital info. No "Good-bye" no "Hold please" no explanations..they were just gone! This puzzled me & at first I could not piece together why this was happining. Did I say something wrong? Did I ask too many questions? Do I have the plague? After being shut out, ignored, & all around dismissed by numerous LPs of all ages, race, & gender, I finally worked up the nerve to ask someone what exactly the problem was with my info. 

So while chatting with a woman who was a LP age 32 (we'll call her, "Sue") we exchanged general info about ourselves & then "Sue" asked me if I was married...so I said yes. Then came the question every LP I've spoken with prior has asked me: "Is he a LP?" I was a bit hesitant...but finally I said.."Sue, most people leave the conversation when I answer this question..but please..before you leave..I have to know why this answer is upsetting to so many people! You've been in the community much longer than I have & all I want to know is why this answer is such a big deal!" Sue immediately knew what I was referring to & before I could continue she said, "Don't worry, I won't leave..but He's a "TP" isn't he!?" Oddly enough, at first I didn't get what "TP" stood for...Contrary to popular belief, "TP" doesn't always stand for "Toilet Paper"..b/c for me the first thing that always comes to mind when I think of "TP" is Toilet Paper..haha..So after deciding she couldn't possibly be thinking that I was married to the heir to the throne of the "Charmin Empire", I said,"TP? OHH You mean a Tall Person?" Sue replied, "Yes"..and so I confirmed that I was indeed married to a..er.."TP".  Sue didn't answer me right away but she did keep her word & finally I was embarking on the journey to discover the answer to this mystery.  

According to "Sue"..& also many others I talked to afterward..turns out, some LPs have been so emotionally wounded by average-sized people or "TPs", that being with them romantically, dating or pursuing them, & marriage are ALL totally out of the question for them! Since they have been treated badly by the average-sized person they eliminate any interaction with them on that level & see it as a solution to the problem! Sue even gave me links to websites filled with poetry, blogs, & info on this matter..& it was appalling from both viewpoints to see the hate in some of the rants by LPs that have been hurt in one way or another! Personally, I've been hurt a time or two in my life by the average-sized man for reasons unrelated to my height, & yes, I will admit, I have also been hurt in situations where height was the only factor. One example of this was when I had a huge teen crush on a guy who returned my affection & I thought he really liked me! When no one was around he would flatter me, talk with me, & treat me as if I were a very special girl to him. However, in public it became a different story! When there were people around..especially his guy friends..he would ignore me...it was as if I wasn't even there! Let me tell ya, that hurt! Even though I liked this guy, what he was doing said a lot about his character &  I just couldn't see myself being with someone like that...so when it was clear he was incapable of showing affection for me in public..I broke it off. 

He made me feel as if I would always be someone's horrible little secret..like I should be locked in a closet somewhere only to come out when someone wanted me too..That was hurtful & degrading...and it wasn't the last time something like that would happened to me. So while I do understand where the LPs who have this point of view are coming from, I can also say that ultimately I believe that ALL men choose their character; I have met many TPs & LPs of great character..& I have met many TPs & LPs whose characters were in need of more development. Short, Tall, Purple, or Green...makes no difference...every person has a choice to either live with their heart open, or live life with it closed. 

Love this Movie..Gotta Love LP Culture! hehe

Then there are the LPs who feel very strongly that if you are a LP & you date a tall person that you are in fact betraying your "LP culture"! (Don't worry, I didn't know we had a "culture" either...I mean you never hear someone say, "Now this here is the story of one of the greatest LPs in LP History..Yup, my Great Great Great Great Grandfather Willow fought for our freedom from the wickedness of the land of Oz...Noo..you never hear that...well..unless you're at my house right before I put the movie "Willow" into the DVD player...I admit I love saying this to younger generations who have never seen the movie before..haha..the looks on their faces are always absolutely  priceless!) 

ANYWAY, LPs who value LP culture ONLY date marry other LPs...& if you are an LP that marries a tall person, most likely (though not EVERY one who believes this will do so) they will either immediately shun you or very quickly tell you that you are a very bad person b/c you have taken away a potential mate for another LP! I've been lectured about this from other LPs and they include examples such as how we have the need to be on the same height level with our partners..such as dancing with another LP and other similar life situations which can be more intimate because they are face to face. While admittedly I have always dreamed of dancing with Hubby face to face instead of face to ..well...belt buckle..there are many easy ways to remedy those situations. 

Our  Wedding :)

Some LPs also say that there is nothing wrong with being a LP (and there isn't) & that b/c of this we need to carry on our "Race" by marrying other LPs. I had NO idea this was about race...& when I think of my marriage to Hubby, race never even entered my mind! However, not long after my experience with the LPA members, I had my very first personal experience with this issue when a co-worker actually asked me if my family was accepting of me & my Husband's interracial marriage. I had to think about that a second..I said to myself, "What? Really? I mean I used to be very naturally tanned and was even mistaken for being Hispanic on many occasions..but after my surgeries I lost a lot of color so now I'm definitely not as tan...or am I?! Hmm..Hubby is Canadian..but Canadian isn't a race...eh? :P But if you look up the definition of "White Boy" Hubby's name will right be there in bold print! hehe...So maybe there was a bit of a contrast between us...but Interracial??...OHHH wait..could she really mean our height difference?? Well, it did take a lot of courage for her to ask me this question, so I need to be sure of what she's referring to before I answer!..hmm..Guess I'll go with height". So I explained to her that I was very lucky because Jean-Sébastien's parents were very very accepting of me. However, before I was married, there was a rare dating situation in which a guy's Mother did not approve of me b/c of my height. His Father loved me..but his Mom was concerned about her potential grandchildren & my medical problems (which I do consider valid concerns)..Not so valid though was her worry about the way society would view her son, herself, and their family if they were seen with me. Ultimately, asking & learning the facts, talking to me, & getting to know me would have been the optimum way to handle the situation..but she chose to ignore me completely instead. Despite that problem, he was truly a wonderful guy & took up for himself & for me. Eventually we parted on very friendly terms & for unrelated reasons. 

So yes, I am very lucky to have Hubby's family. It was apparent to me when I first met them that they are very well known in the community. Furthermore, I knew right away that they had no qualms with their son dating me as they made it a point to introduce me to many of their friends & colleagues with the highlight being attending Dinner & the Theater with the Mayor himself!

Dinning with Hubby's family & friends :)

I am very very blessed to have such supportive in-laws...and also very blessed to have such wonderful friends & family that make me feel no different than anybody else! It sometimes happens that people ask me to get something located much higher than I'm able to reach..when they realize their fault they begin to apologize, & without even knowing it, proceed to pay me one of the biggest compliments I ever receive, "Oh I'm sorry Sommer, sometimes I just forget"..Wow..If just being myself allows people to look at me as equal..& so much so that they forget my limitations, then that to me is one of my greatest accomplishments! It's because of their ability to look past such things that eliminates for me any such thinking of race or discrimination.

So, these ideals, as Sue first explained to me, are extremely more prevalent in the LP society then one would guess, & trust me I never would have guessed! However, obviously (and thankfully) NOT EVERY LP thinks this way. The same can be said for TPs as well. When researching adoption info online..more specifically adopting a LP child, I found that discrimination is more open & rampant than I could ever believe possible! Sadly, I found more people requesting info on how to put their LP child up for adoption than I did info on how to adopt them! These people were capable, financially able, & in some cases, already had children..but they did not know how a LP child would fit into their "society" so they thought it best to give them up. This makes my heart hurt...are we as humans so shallow that we must now have "designer children" or perfect children & anything less is unacceptable? Then to find out that some LPs..my own kind..the very victims of prejudice..are in fact treating "TPs" in the same manner we've fought all of our lives NOT to be treated!? To many LPs that practice this "culture", I am considered a betrayer & an outcast...but just b/c I love someone society considers different than me doesn't mean I'm not proud of who & what I am! In my experience, loving someone should never change who you are..it should enhance who you are! 
Does it sound odd to you that this argument is based on height and not something more commonly debated such as skin color? If you are reading this and you are not a LP, but maybe you are slightly shorter or taller than average..would you be ok with society being accepting of you ONLY if you dated people within your height range?? Or does that sound silly to you? Well it is happening right now, everyday, to those of us whose differences are more obvious to those around us. There are battles about color...and now height...so what's next? Should we start separating people according to eye-color?? That sound ridiculous to you? It does to me too! So where should it end..makes me wonder why it even started at all!

Us :)

In my experience you can be hurt by anyone short or tall, purple or green...& you can LOVE & be LOVED by them & be the better for it as well. My name is Sommer & I'm 3ft 7, Texas born & raised & I've been married 11yrs to Jean-Sébastien who is the most wonderful 6ft 1 French Canadian you'll ever meet..& I'm proud of it! My hope is for everyone to replace our misconceptions with love...We are ALL a work of Art created by God & we are many different shapes, sizes, & colors, yet we are ALL being painted on the same canvas.. Separate shapes & colors on canvas are not much to look at..but when you blend those shapes & colors together, they have the potential to become something tremendously beautiful!

Thank you for taking the time to read this little Short Story...Love & Hugs to you all!! BBB            ~Sommer