The example I'm using today is my most recent encounter with a cute kiddo (about 6 or 7yrs old) who I met while shopping for House Slippers. Of course I have to shop in the Kiddie Dpt for shoes and sometimes it can be hard to find shoes without Barbie, The Little Mermaid, or "insert any Disney Cartoon here" on them. So while looking for a more "adult" styled shoe, this cute kiddo and his father walked by. Just like every kiddo that sees me or someone like me (maybe for the first time..or maybe not) he stared at me, and I could tell his little mind was trying to figure out just what kind of person I am. His first instinct was to ask his father about the "little girl"...but the father promptly shushed him before he could inquire further. However, the little boy persisted. He had his hands on a shopping cart along with his father and when he tried to ask again, the Father began to squeeze his little hands in an effort to distract him from saying anything more. But the cute kiddo couldn't help himself so he finally shouted, "BUT DADDY..That little girl has REALLY BIG BOOBS!". The father's face turned very red and he immediately turned to me to apologize. I smiled and told him it was okay and that I understand Kids ask or say things when they are curious. He seemed relieved and thankful and proceeded to walk very quickly away with his kiddo.
I don't get that particular reaction often, but yes, I have heard about my big boobs before from Kiddos and I understand that if your curious kiddo is going to blurt out a loud inappropriate public comment, that ideally you would want him/her to blurt out something at least a little more appropriate...but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way! In my case, kids know I'm not like them and it's primarily b/c I'm small but I have more adult-like features (yes like "boobs") and all they are trying to do is determine why. I want you to know that I personally do not consider this "rude behavior" from small children, as often I am their first encounter with someone "different". I do NOT mind at all when kids ask me questions. I believe asking questions is the only way the child will learn about their encounter, so if you encourage your child NOT to ask questions then they will never learn, and therefore when put in that situation again, they will continue to stare and wonder. By telling your kiddos not to talk ABOUT me, look at me, or talk TO me, it can unintentionally send the message to them that I am in some way "not normal" or I'm someone to be "disapproved of" and that people like me are not to be mentioned or associated with. However, I would LOVE for them to learn that I am a person just like them, and I understand that sometimes they are learning about it in that very same moment they are meeting me..When kids ask me why I'm small I usually give them a simple answer "God makes people or "People come" in ALL different shapes and sizes..isn't that cool?!" They usually respond well to this and sometimes they even say things like, "Oh, I have blonde hair and my sister doesn't" and give other answers that point out their differences. They may also question me further and that's okie too :) Here are just some of the really cute ones I've heard:
1. Are you a Mommy?
2. Are you old enough to cook? ..drive? ..be married? ..have kids? ..stay up late? ..etc?
3. *pointing to my Husband who is 6ft1* So he's your Husband and NOT your father?
4. How come your boobs are big?
5. Are you a "baby mommy"? (not to be confused with "Baby's Momma")
6. Will your dad (My Husband) let you come play with me?
7. Are you a kid like me?
8. Are you tall enough to have a job?
9. Are you a "real" person? (...hmm..as opposed to what?)
10. Are you SURE you're old enough to be babysitting me?! :P
One thing parents do that REALLY makes me feel terrible is when they physically swat, push, pull, or jerk their child away from the situation.. "me" being the situation. I feel I'm the reason for the child being disciplined, and it actually makes me feel a bit guilty! Even though I understand that it is the parent's choice to either educate that child in the moment, or remove them from it to "hopefully" educate them later, something inside me still feels it's in some way my fault that the child is being reprimanded. This is one reason why I am always open to kids with questions or parents who wish to educate their kiddo about people who are "different". I have confronted parents as they were in process of disciplining their child right in front of me and apologizing to me at the same time, and I've let them know that I am fine with questions. Most are grateful for this and take the opportunity. Some parents respond by saying their child is old enough to understand that pointing and staring is wrong and they wish to teach them both lessons...which I also understand. I believe that pointing and such other behaviors will diminish as the child learns more about why I am different! However, I do NOT believe taking them away from, ignoring, or making me a taboo topic will teach a child anything more than to avoid the topic all together.
Older kiddos, and adults that exhibit this same behavior towards people who are different are a much different story, and a topic for another day. For now, I hope that knowing my perspective on this will help you, as parents, to feel more comfortable around people like me who are "different" in some obvious way in a situation like this. As I said before, I do not speak for all the LPs of the world, but if you find yourself in this situation with an adult LP, you can probably bet that they understand that kids are kids...and will be more relieved to have you inquire than to see you forcefully remove your child without explanation. (especially if your child is very up front, already talking to me, or being very vocal about it) Look, I KNOW I'm short, I didn't just wake up like this yesterday..and odds are the person you'll encounter (especially an Adult) will know what's different about them as well and have encountered many similar situations like yours. If you're unsure if inquiring about their height is okie..just ask them, more than likely they'll be very upfront with you on what they consider acceptable or not and they will appreciate the respect you've shown them by simply asking!
 |
| My New Hello Kitty House Slippers! <3 |
There are so many people in this world and we all have many unique differences. I hope we can teach our future generations to accept and embrace them! You cannot put together a puzzle if every piece is shaped exactly the same...It is ONLY because of our differences, that we can come together, see different perspectives, and bring new ideas, beneficial changes, and love to a world that is so in need of it! <3
Love Always,
Sommer
<3 BBB <3